Immigration Mad Scientists in the Laboratory

The Evil Experiments of Professor Trudeau

The scene takes place in a large laboratory. Dozens of technicians are gathered around a work table where we see tubes, test tubes, beakers…

Suddenly a man enters. This is the famous doctor Trudeau, known for his controversial experiments in transforming national identities.

” Hello dear friends. Thank you for responding to my invitation in such large numbers.

“As you know, for several years I have been trying to create in the laboratory the first post-national country in the world, that is, a completely disembodied country in which citizens will no longer be linked by a common culture. , shared values ​​or a shared past, but through a simple charter of rights…”

A man raises his hand.

“But, Doctor Trudeau, is that possible? Some specialists – like the eminent Professor Bock-Côté of the University of the Sorbonne – say that this would be like trying to neutralize the attraction that holds neutrons and protons together in an atom!

“For toying with the fundamental forces of nature that have enabled the birth, development, and maintenance of nations in the four corners of the planet since the world began! »

Clearly annoyed, Doctor Trudeau sighs, takes off his glasses and massages his eyelids.

“Yes it is possible! Look at the results of the last census: thanks to the work I have been leading for seven years now, one in four Canadian citizens was born abroad! One over four! It has never been in Canadian history given!

– But, Doctor Trudeau, is that enough to create a post-national country like you want?

— No, unfortunately that’s not enough. So this morning I decided to move on to phase 4! »

screams of surprise from the audience.

“Level 4? asks a confused young man. But you haven’t thought about it?

– Listen, we don’t have a choice! In two years I risk losing the leadership of this lab to that pathetic Doctor Poilievre, so it’s now or never!

“So you’re going…

“Yes, I will raise the threshold of immigrants to 500,000 per year!” »

Three people fall unconscious.

“But, but… And the two official languages, did you think of that? With such an influx of immigrants who do not speak either, how can we respect official language policy?

— There will always be two official languages, but they will be Mandarin and Tamil!

“And the two founding peoples?”

— There will no longer be two founding nations, but two founders of nations, namely my father and me! Trudeau 1 and Trudeau 2! Waiting for Trudeau 3!

– But it’s madness!

— No, it is the future, my friends! We will change the face of the world! There will be no more countries, no more nations, no more peoples! There will only be Facebook and Uber Eats! Ahahahahahaha! »

Who is Gaston Miron