The Batman Release Review

It’s raining again in Gotham City. The criminals are gone, but there is also someone else: Robert Pattinson as the most emo Batman you’ve ever seen. The Batman hit theaters on Friday, proving there’s still room for a unique take on the Caped Crusader. After watching the film, some Ringer employees shared their thoughts, from MVP to hypothetical campaign politics.

1. What is your review of The Batman on Twitter?

Miles Surrey: Mr. Batman, you could save Gotham, I gave you all the clues.

Arjuna Ramgopal: Batman is the movie we deserve and need right now.

Andrew Gruttadaro: In most Batman films, the protagonist is portrayed as a slightly unfamiliar James Bond. This one depicted him as a strange child who draws in The Strangers. It was amazing.

Amelia Wedemeyer: I don’t have anything smart or quick to say here, only that it’s mostly worth your time, especially if you want a respite from Marvel’s playful banter and flashy colors we’ve come to associate with superhero movies.

Keith Halliwell: The Batman portrays the evil, anti-social, sun-hating Robert Pattinson, who fears he will never live up to his surgeon father’s charitable deeds. He and a petite woman drive very fast through a rainy city, and he saves someone from being crushed by a car, almost revealing his true identity. Batman is Twilight.

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2. What was the best moment in the movie?

Surrey: Matt Reeves directed this movie and Robert Pattinson was an amazing emo Batman, but Michael Giacchino’s music has been in my head for two weeks now. Give this man a very premature 2023 Oscar nomination.

Halliwell: Of course, it was in the trailers, but the moment when the Penguin is upside down watching Batman climb out of the burning cars… that’s a strong argument for capes, that’s all I’m going to say. (A strong second place goes to Batman’s hilarious flying squirrel costume.)

Wedemeyer: Car chase between Batman and Penguin! I’m not usually into cars or car chases, but this one – with its wonderful editing and styling – won me over. I literally caught myself several times with my hands squeezing my legs throughout this scene.

Ramgopal: The car chase lived up to the hype: seeing Batman chasing down the manic Colin Farrell was a real treat; the cinematography was amazing; and Cobblepot taught Bruce and Gordon Spanish, which was fun. Add the Penguin swing at the end and it’s the perfect moment.

Gruttadaro: The scene in the church – when Batman communicates with the Riddler via a mobile phone duct-taped to Peter Sarsgaard’s Gil Coulson’s arm – is surprisingly fast-paced and executed. So it’s either a car chase or the time Bruce Wayne put on funny sunglasses to read the paper indoors.

3. What part of the film did you dislike the most?

Wedemeyer: I mean, three hours is a little free.

Halliwell: Three hours is too much! How many times can Batman and Gordon name different flying animals?

Ramgopal: More like a nitpick, but how does Batman survive an explosion in his face?!

Surrey: The third act, with Gotham flooding and the Riddler army trying to kill the mayor, went crazy, which reminded me of the Christopher Nolan trilogy never knowing how to put on the brakes.

Gruttadaro: The movie could probably have paid more attention and gone a little further with a mini twist that the Riddler was gathering Rebel followers. It’s one of the most timely comments in the movie, but also one of the things the movie seems to be the least about.

4. Who is the best supporting character in Batman?

Halliwell: Zoë Kravitz was a great Catwoman, but seeing Colin Farrell’s absurd portrayal of the Penguin gave me more joy than anything else in this movie.

Ramgopal: With all due respect to my boyfriend Oswald Cobblepot, Selina Kyle Zoe Kravitz was amazing. She brought a cool energy to a character that was familiar yet different, and her chemistry with Robert Pattinson’s Bruce Wayne was on another level, which really helped the movie.

Surrey: Colin Farrell was the best stage obscuring weirdo covered in an unnecessary jumble of prosthetics since Jared Leto at the House of Gucci. Put the two together in the Penguin spin-off show.

Wedemeyer: Farrell’s penguin because he stole every scene he was in. Was he hilarious, bigger than life, and dare I say cute? Give us his HBO series NOW!

Gruttadaro: Penguin not only runs a hugely successful nightclub, but is also very knowledgeable about the Spanish gender convention.

5. Use this space to offer a brief description of this Bruce Wayne’s character.

Ramgopal: It’s Bruce who is very much on his own, figuring out who he is as Batman and as Bruce Wayne. This is the most time we’ve ever spent with Bruce/Batman in a movie, and it’s very interesting to catch him before he fully reveals himself, but not at the very beginning.

Halliwell: Robert Pattinson truly gave us the most emo teenage superhero of all time. Pale skin, eyeliner, greasy hair, monosyllabic answers, creepy spray-painted shit in his room. … He hit us “You’re not my real dad” in the first 15 minutes and I got up. Incredible things.

Surrey: The only time Bruce perked up was when he saw Selina Kyle put on a Catwoman costume and slip out of her apartment window saying, “Hey, she’s a freak, just like me.” My boyfriend needs to lighten up and he really could use some sun.


6. Complete the sentence: “The Riddler was…”

Surrey: … what would happen if the incels got really into puzzles.

Gruttadaro: … really frightening at times, and even more frightening because of the meekness that Paul Dano showed to the character when he was exposed. This guy was doing Jigsaw level shit with a leather mask on and was breathing really hard. Pretty worrisome.

Wedemeyer: …mandatory at the Capitol on January 6th.

Ramgopal: …ultimately a really bad imitator of influence.

Halliwell: …quite possibly to blame for ruining my lifelong love affair with Paul Dano. I will never be able to look at him with my previous level of affection again.

7. You’re running for mayor of Gotham City – tell us about your campaign platform.

Gruttadaro: Okay, well, the first thing we’re definitely going to do is reinforce Gotham’s walls against storms – we can’t be in six to eight economy vans all the time from flooding the entire city. But I think we also have to take into account the fact that the founders of Gotham City built it on incredibly unfavorable ground, and no matter what we do, the city will not exist by the end of my first term.

Ramgopal: Flood insurance for everyone!

Surrey: I’m also concerned that this was ever a problem to begin with.

Halliwell: Think about it: we should all get out of Gotham.

Wedemeyer: I won’t lie, I don’t think I can top Bella Real’s “Reál Change”, which deftly serves as both a slogan and a platform.

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8. What else is on the Bruce Wayne playlist?

Gruttadaro: “Karma Police” by Radiohead when he’s down, “Hurt” by Johnny Cash on a sunny day.

Ramgopal: “I’m Not Fine (Promise)” by My Chemical Romance.

Wedemeyer: “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman; “Scar Tissue” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers; “Creep” by Radiohead; “Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden; “Starboy” by The Weeknd; “Heaven Knows I’m Unhappy Now” by the Smiths; “Only happy when it rains” by Garbage.

Surrey: Audio news reports of his parents’ deaths.

Halliwell: If I’m the only person in this poll to give this obvious answer – “Decode” by Paramore – I don’t trust any of you anymore. I’m looking forward to the inevitable Bruce Wayne fan edits of this song. Please forward them directly to my mailbox.

9. Where does Batman fit in with other live-action Batman movies?

Halliwell: I’m no expert, but there’s nothing better than The Dark Knight, and it’s also not as good as the one where Michelle Pfeiffer licks Michael Keaton’s face.

Gruttadaro: This is the top three, second only to The Dark Knight and Batman Returns. Who knew that the secret to unlocking a new level of Batman made him even more irritable and antisocial?

Wedemeyer: I can safely say that I liked Batman more than The Dark Knight.

Ramgopal: It’s not the best Batman of all time, but he’s definitely in the first third.

Surrey: I’m going to put it in the top 3, but if The Batman follows the franchise pattern, then the sequel will surpass it.