If you’re a narcissist when it comes to sex, you’re more likely to have embarrassing problems in the bedroom.
Researchers have surveyed over a thousand adult men about their sex lives and their levels of “sexual narcissism.”
Sexual narcissism describes people who have an “inflated and unrealistic view” of their own sexuality, and often seek sex only to please themselves.
Researchers found that increased susceptibility to premature ejaculation and difficulty achieving orgasm are positively associated with sexual narcissism.
Researchers say that men with sexual narcissism are “strongly masturbation-driven” and care more about their own orgasm than about their sexual partner.
An example of a sexual narcissist is Patrick Bateman, a character played by Christian Bale in the 2000 film American Psycho.
Sexual narcissism describes people who have an “inflated and unrealistic view” of their own sexuality, and often seek sex only to please themselves. Pictured is Patrick Bateman, the serial killer and sexual narcissist played by Christian Bale in the 2000 film American Psycho.
WHAT IS SEXUAL NARCISSUS?
Sexual narcissism is a term used to describe people who have an inflated and unrealistic view of their own sexuality.
They may feel they have more sex appeal or are more experienced in sexual activities. They often manipulate others to maintain this view.
People with sexual narcissism tend to agree with statements such as ‘I like to take charge of sex’, ‘I think I have a special way of making love’, ‘Emotional closeness can easily get in the way of sexual pleasure,’ and ‘ Satisfaction in sex is most important’.
Source: ISSM/Rowland et al
In one memorable scene, Bateman obsessively flexes his muscles and watches himself in the mirror while having sex with a prostitute.
The new study was conducted by researchers from Valparaiso University in Indiana and Eötvös Loránd University in Budapest, Hungary.
“Various personality traits and disorders (such as narcissism) have been associated with sexual response and satisfaction,” study author Professor David L. Rowland of Valparaiso University told PsyPost.
“Our research reiterates the negative impact narcissism has on relationship satisfaction, but adds a new perspective on how this personality trait can also influence a man’s sexual response to partnered sex.”
For their study, the team recruited 1,297 men aged 18 to 85 to fill out an online questionnaire.
The questionnaire asked the men about several factors, including medical conditions, sexual dysfunction, and sexual relationships dating back two years.
Men also took part in the Hurlbert Index of Sexual Narcissism, which required them to rate the extent to which they agreed with several statements.
Those with high levels of sexual narcissism agreed with the statements “I like being in control during sex”, “I think I have a particular style of making love”, “Emotional closeness can easily get in the way of sexual pleasure, ‘ and ‘enjoying sex is the most important thing’.
Experts Say Narcissistic Men Are Highly Driven by Masturbation, But They Are More Prone to Premature Ejaculation (file photo)
Women who climax less in bed ‘expect less pleasure’
It is already known that men in heterosexual relationships climax more often than women – a phenomenon known as the “orgasm gap”.
But researchers have found that the phenomenon affects a woman’s desire to have an orgasm even in the bedroom.
Experts surveyed men and women in heterosexual relationships about sexual satisfaction, how often they orgasm and how often they would orgasm.
Not only did they find that the orgasm gap exists, but that women who climax less during sex have less desire and expectation to have an orgasm.
Researchers found that men high in sexual narcissism were more likely to have a sexual partner, have sex more often, masturbate more often, and have a greater interest in sex.
However, they also showed lower levels of sexual satisfaction and overall relationship satisfaction, and were more likely to prefer masturbation to sex.
Interestingly, men with sexual narcissism were also more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation and, paradoxically, had greater difficulty achieving orgasm during sex.
Although these are two very different sexual traits, men didn’t suffer from both at the same time – unless they were affected during different sexual encounters.
Narcissistic men also showed higher levels of sexualization overall, as well as higher “autoerotic orientation”—sexual satisfaction through stimulation of one’s own body.
“Narcissistic men are strongly driven by self-pleasure and derive their sexual satisfaction more from orgasm than from interpersonal relationships,” the authors say in their article.
“They are also more prone to rapid ejaculation (presumably early in a sexual relationship) and difficulty in achieving ejaculation (presumably as novelty in the relationship wears off).”
Pleasing yourself during sex may explain premature ejaculation, but how sexual narcissism relates to difficulty achieving orgasm is less clear.
Because people with sexual narcissism focus primarily on what they want, this may not always be conducive to ejaculation.
The researchers stress that they were unable to distinguish correlation from causation (one factor directly causes another).
“This is a correlational study, so one must be careful about making causal conclusions, for example suggesting that narcissism is the cause of decreased sexual and relationship satisfaction or a more problematic sexual response in partnered sex,” Rowland said.
“Other factors not assessed in our study may be responsible for these results.”
The study was published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy.
DEATH OF THE “TRADITIONAL” DATE? ONLY A THIRD OF APPOINTMENTS NOW INVOLVE THE MAN WHO ASK THE WOMAN, PAY AND INITIATE SEX, THE STUDY DISCOVERED
Traditionally, men have dictated the course of a romantic encounter, but a new study suggests that may finally be changing.
Researchers in Kansas analyzed data from a survey of more than 20,000 straight college students describing their last date.
They found that only about a third of dates (36 percent) today involve the man asking the woman out, paying for it, and then initiating sex.
This is something of a “traditional” dating model, but it could be replaced by a more equal model between the sexes, where the woman initiates the sex and even pays for the dinner.
The researchers also found that women are more likely to have sex on a first date if they were the one who initiated the date.