Tantrism is often viewed as a sexual practice, but the spirit of tantra is broader. Her practice invites us to know and accept ourselves as we are, to understand what is good for us, and then to reach out to others.
For many years, Simon, in his early forties, saw his sexuality as an athlete. Performance has always taken precedence over enjoyment and sharing. A sense of inadequacy and incompleteness hovered over all of his relationships. “I couldn’t manage to be in a relationship, to bond, I was always in the conquest. After a period of great mental and emotional exhaustion, I happened upon the tantra philosophy. I dived into it and quickly realized that I needed to understand myself better. I also had to get rid of my expectations and pretensions on all levels. It wasn’t just sexual. Gradually, I applied this mindset to all of my relationships, in all facets of my life. It’s like I understood that I don’t have to prove anything anymore, neither to myself nor to others.”
Of course, the integration of this practice does not happen overnight. Already practicing meditation, Simon went through periods of discouragement, but he knew he was on the right path. “Tantra also helps to express one’s own needs and to listen to those of others, it facilitates communication. It also allows you to be more in the present and stop asking all sorts of questions.
Tantra means going to yourself before going to others. Simon was able to appreciate all the changes this entailed. “I’ve been in a relationship for two years, I feel stronger and better endowed. I sincerely believe it’s thanks to the work I’ve done on myself.
change in perception
Nicole has been practicing tantrism for a number of years and says she is more fulfilled than ever. “I was 52 years old when I went to a tantra course with my wife. We wanted to change our routine, try something different. With three kids, we fell asleep a little bit about our sexuality and our couple. I wasn’t expecting anything, but I never thought that this practice would change me so much.”
Tantra massages and a “rebirth” experience (a conscious breathing technique that helps bring out buried emotions) enabled her to understand her emotional blocks and unconscious taboos. “It freed me from my education, from my shame, from certain guilt. I’ve healed some wounds related to my love journey that might still be blocking me. I discovered more patience in myself, less fear and my femininity increased tenfold. I feel more confidence, I have a sense of fullness that I had never felt before.
How do you discover tantra?
Before you book a tantra massage, attend a course or an initiation session into tantra, we recommend that you read up on the topic. Martin Bilodeau, who has over 20 years of experience practicing and studying Eastern traditions, has published The Practical Guide to Modern Tantrism, which teaches the basic principles of this practice.