1675354707 MalamadreEnModoAvion the poll that shows moms cant switch off

#MalamadreEnModoAvion: the poll that shows moms can’t switch off

The quest for reconciliation does not cease to be less real with each passing day. And amid this struggle to take care of yourself and meet some commitments and others, there is the ubiquity of digital devices: 5 in 10 women spend between two and four hours a day in front of their cell phones, and 75% take refuge on social media to disconnect or chat. A time that often goes unnoticed but makes 44% of women uncomfortable when they become aware of it. At least that’s according to Malasmadres and Movistar’s latest mobile usage survey, #MalamadreEnModoAvión. “Women always tell us that they take little and bad care of themselves, that they don’t have time for themselves. That’s why it’s important to think about digital connection if it prevents us from spending time on other activities that we need, such as self-care,” says Laura Baena, founder of the community that fights to break the myth of the perfect to break motherhood and achieve real reconciliation. .

Going offline entirely digitally is probably neither realistic nor necessary, say experts. On the other hand, it is important to be clear about how this time is managed, what this interaction brings us and how many minutes or hours we have left to pursue our interests and social and family relationships. For this reason, along with the survey, the Malamadres Club invited 70 women to turn off their cell phones and write down how they were feeling in a newspaper called “Malamadre in airplane mode”.

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In many cases, this led them to become aware of what they stopped doing when they were caught by social media. And that, according to Baena, is the real problem: Because not only the time we spend in front of the screens plays a role, but also how we use the devices and what kind of content we consume: “We see a tendency Using cell phones to disconnect and disconnect keeps us entertained, and that’s fine as long as we’re able to take care of ourselves and don’t carry our cell phones like an extension of ourselves, thereby losing our ability to focus and to be present”.

Devoting more time to a piece of technology than is advisable has clearly negative consequences, both for emotional health and for the ability to concentrate and the quality of the relationships that everyone builds with those around them, starting with the family. “If you get off work at three or four in the afternoon and pick your son up from school at five and he goes to bed at seven thirty or nine, you don’t have much time [para compartir]. And if you spend two of those three or four hours on your phone, you’re missing out on a big part of your child’s life, and they’re missing out on being with you,” warns Rafa Guerrero, an expert in neuroeducation and emotional psychology administration. . Some devices, which also “may induce a feeling of overwhelm and stress above normal because of the property they have as an immediate reinforcement; and they exert an addictive power due to the bursts of dopamine produced that are scientifically proven,” he adds. For Guerrero, it is necessary to stop, reflect and analyze our relationship with technology and the emotions it arouses in us.

Rules for the good use of technology

In order to practice healthy use of digital devices, it is important to be aware of whether we spend too much time on them in everyday life. And if so, to know the means to reverse this situation: “We can create a device-free zone at home, for example: the living room, the kitchen, the playroom … And that there is no cell phones, no TV, no iPad Or use Airplane mode at specific times, such as 6 to 7 every day, or 6 to 8 every day when none of those devices are in use,” Guerrero recommends.

From left to right: María Zabala, Rafa Guerrero, Paloma Blanc and Laura Baena, participants in the round table for the presentation of the survey Left to right: María Zabala, Rafa Guerrero, Paloma Blanc and Laura Baena, participants of the round table presentation of the survey “Malamadre in Airplane Mode” at the Espacio Fundación Telefónica in Madrid on February 1, 2023. JAVIER ARIAS

It’s also important to set rules and boundaries for everyone. Six in 10 families surveyed say they have rules at home, but most acknowledge that these are aimed at minors rather than adults. A practice that both Baena and Guerrero draw attention to: “At home we can’t forget that [los padres] In the use of technology as well as in everything else, we are a role model. You need to use common sense and establish common rules when using screens that force you not only to limit the time, but to see what content they are consuming, with what intent and what it is bringing them,” says the founder of Malasmadres. An endeavor sometimes complicated by the increasingly blurring lines between work and family life: six in ten working women say they answer their cell phones at home for work reasons, while an even higher percentage (71%) say they do it during work Work to seize day for family or other reasons.

“It’s about taking responsibility for healthy use,” adds Baena, while reminding us of the importance of encouraging critical thinking throughout the family. “Screens can be a good tool to get to know each other better: you don’t have to turn your back on it, but become aware and of course not lose time for other family activities,” he adds.

Digital world and self-care

So it’s not about living with our backs to the benefits that technology offers in terms of our recreation and entertainment; but to know how to use what contributes sufficiently to our lives. “If we passively devote most of our time on screens to social networks and beyond, we need to review what we’re consuming, what apps we’re using and what accounts we’re following to ask ourselves if that’s getting us enough and if it’s taking time of.” Self-care,” reflects Baena. Because the possibilities of the digital world are so numerous that today we can meditate, learn, exercise and even open spaces for family dialogue at the touch of a button “to share what we’ve learned this week, what podcast we’ve been listening to or on.” what news we have brought to your attention. What we can’t do is unlock the phone and let ourselves go, because that’s when you stop and look at the clock and think: What have I been doing for the last hour without realizing it when I was just a Bizum or wanted to send a message?”, Add.

Guerrero offers the final reflection: “Let’s imagine that human beings, as social beings, ultimately really need contact with the other and their understanding, and not that a device puts them in a reactive mode. Although there are people who take refuge in social networks as a surrogate mechanism for relating to others, our biology and DNA drive us to relate, connect, embrace and be in physical and real contact with one another. “

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