1676794326 Judd Apatow skewers Tom Cruise in DGA Awards monologue His

Judd Apatow skewers Tom Cruise in DGA Awards monologue: His stunts ‘feel like a Scientology ad’

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 18: Presenter Judd Apatow speaks onstage during the 75th Annual Directors Guild Of America Awards at The Beverly Hilton on February 18, 2023 in Beverly Hills, California.  (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

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A month after Jerrod Carmichael used the Golden Globes stage to mock Tom Cruise for his involvement in the Church of Scientology, Judd Apatow received a few similar hits while hosting the Directors Guild of America Awards.

The jokes began on the issue of the Top Gun star’s size: “The special effects in ‘Maverick’ were so top notch I couldn’t even see the stack of phone books that Tom Cruise was sitting on to reach the flight controls.”

“Remember when Tom Cruise was jumping up and down on the couch and we were all like, ‘What a lunatic!'” Apatow said, referring to the infamous 2005 incident on “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” “And now he’s riding a motorcycle off a cliff and BASE jumping and we’re all like, ‘Tom’s fine!'”

“Tom is not well. Someone has to explain something called CGI to him. You’re 60. Calm down,” Apatow continued. “But every time he does one of these new stunts, it feels like an advertisement for Scientology. I mean, is that in Dianetics? Because the Torah says nothing about jumping off a cliff.”

But Apatow wasn’t done roasting Cruise. Next, he poked fun at the actor’s family life and his opinions on mental health.

“The only thing he seems afraid of is co-parenting and antidepressants,” he said. “I doubled down on my Prozac today just for that. I doubled it! Do you think if Tom Cruise was on antidepressants he would say, ‘I’m not jumping off a friggin’ cliff. I’m rich!'”

Top Gun: Maverick director Joseph Kosinski didn’t seem amused by Apatow’s jokes.

Cruise wasn’t Apatow’s only target. At the beginning of his speech, he told the DGA: “People are complaining this year that all five nominees for best director are men. But that’s not correct. One of the nominees are two men.”

He was referring to Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, who co-directed the A24 comedy All at Once. He continued to poke fun at the duo’s film – and the snub from Avatar: The Way of Water – saying: “It must be tough for James Cameron to have made another of the most technically innovative films of all time, and then Lose a DGA nomination against two guys who made a movie with a dildo banging.

“Both ‘Avatar’ and ‘Elvis’ have received a lot of praise this awards season. Which is unexpected as people enjoyed them and made money from them,” Apatow added, before making the audience gasp by saying, “I saw ‘Elvis’ exactly as he died: asleep and on the Toilet.”

Apatow said of the film’s star, “Austin Butler still talks like Elvis. Not a bad person to get stuck talking. Unfortunately his next project is The Jerry Lewis Story.”

Apatow turned the punchlines against himself, saying, “There are 500 scripted series, so I took the whole year off and watched every episode of all 500 shows just so I could vote accurately and responsibly. I didn’t have time to direct. I lost my health insurance. Which worries me because my right testicle hurts. I’m not joking and wondering if anyone has a guy.”

“Steven Spielberg made a deeply personal film that just shows you how much you can accomplish smoking weed with Seth Rogen,” joked Apatow of the The Fabelmans director. And of his frequent collaborator’s star performance, he added: “Spielberg stole Seth Rogen from me and I don’t agree with that. I’m going to do a friggin’ movie with ET!”

Apatow also joked about how Todd Field’s “Tár” came about 16 years after his last film, 2006’s Little Children.

“Even Terrence Malick says, ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ That’s way too long. How do you stay on health insurance?” he said. “That’s how long ago my daughter went to preschool with Todd’s daughter. Our kids were four when his last film came out. And since then my daughter has had three divorces.”

Apatow concluded his monologue with a little more self-mockery, this time about the low viewership of his 2022 Netflix film The Bubble.

“You know what it’s like to work hard and then watch the top 10 on Netflix and you’re behind ‘Is It Cake?'” he said. “And then you watch ‘Is It Cake?’ and you realize that you like it better than your film?”