Judd Apatow unleashed on Tom Cruise during his DGA Awards monologue on Saturday night, roasting the superstar on everything from his size to his commitment to Scientology.
Apatow, who hosted the awards show for the fourth time, began the part by teasing that the “visual effects in [Top Gun:] Maverick were so top notch I couldn’t even see the stack of phone books that Tom Cruise was sitting on to reach flight control.” He continued, “That’s why he’s always jumping out of tall buildings because you can’t on a 100 story building can see how small he is. That’s why he’s always alone when he’s standing on an airplane wing, he doesn’t want anyone next to him to balance himself.”
As Cruise bounced on the couch on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2005, the director noted how everyone was like, “‘What a lunatic.’ Now he rides a motorcycle off a cliff and then he jumps BASE and we all say, ‘Tom’s fine.'”
“Tom’s not well, something’s wrong right now,” Apatow said. “Someone has to explain something called CGI to him — you don’t have to do the stunts, they look exactly the same when you do them on the green screen.” He jokingly told Cruise that at the end of Thelma and Louise, they didn’t actually drive off a cliff and explained: “You’re 60, calm down.”
He then moved on to Cruise’s famous relationship with the Church of Scientology, saying, “Every time he does one of these new stunts, it feels like an advertisement for Scientology, it really does. I mean, is that in Dianetics because the Torah doesn’t say anything about jumping off a cliff? The only thing he seems afraid of is co-parenting and antidepressants,” gasped some viewers. “Do you think if Tom Cruise was on antidepressants he would be like, ‘I’m not jumping off a friggin’ motorcycle on a cliff? Why am I even working, I’m rich.’” Cruise’s Top Gun: Maverick director Joseph Kosinski (who was nominated for the night’s grand prize) and producer Jerry Bruckheimer were present for the monologue, though the star himself didn’t attend the show afterward who performed at the Oscar nominees’ luncheon earlier in the week.