Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner and Bridget Marquardt at a joint event in 2007. (Photo: Getty Images)
Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt admitted that watching old episodes of the E! The reality series Girls Next Door, which documented her time in the Playboy mansion, has taken an emotional toll.
The former Hugh Hefner co-stars and friends recently announced that they have teamed up to create a podcast titled Girls Next Level to revisit the reality show that launched their career and give audiences a chance to give a glimpse behind the scenes. Though the duo is excited about the joint venture, they told Heather McDonald it’s been difficult to reconsider that part of her life.
“Holly warned me that the first three episodes were really hard to watch and when she said that I thought she just meant get used to watching them again and when you’re like three episodes behind you It’s all good,” Marquardt said on the comedian’s Juicy Scoop podcast. “I didn’t realize it until I saw her not last night but the night before and I’m still traumatized. As if I had a bad stomach, I can’t sleep, I cried.”
While Marquardt recalled a more positive experience at the villa than Madison, she said she “has no bad feelings towards Kendra [Wilkinson] or hef or [the show’s producer] Kevin [Burns] or anyone,” Marquardt admitted that the way she was portrayed on the show left her with complicated emotions.
“We’re made off as sluts straight away, straight into episode one,” she says of her and Madison, adding that vulnerable conversations she had on camera were edited to make Marquardt look like she was ” just that jealous bitch. that I get people drunk and sabotage their pictures.”
“I think this is screwed up and borderline illegal,” Madison added, noting that she had some issues with the show’s producer after deciding to leave the Playboy mansion. Ultimately, she credited Burns with the unfavorable portrayal of Marquardt and herself.
“I think it was more the producer who wanted the drama and wanted us to look mean, and he didn’t care,” Madison said. “And that’s also confusing because we felt like we had a close friendship with Kevin and now that we’re getting older and we look back and see what he did, it’s a really bad feeling.”
The story goes on
Madison began looking back at the show in response to requests from her YouTube subscribers, who asked her to share her reaction on her channel. However, a few episodes later, she wasn’t sure if it was healthy for her to revisit her.
“When I did those initial reaction videos, I said to viewers, ‘I don’t know if I’m going to continue these because they’re not good for my mental health,'” she recalled. “I was just about to watch Secrets of Playboy and then I watch it and I think I don’t have the bandwidth for it.”
Even after watching episodes of the A&E documentaries she was a part of, Madison said she felt emotionally unstable.
“I had a nightmare, every night after ‘Secrets of Playboy,’ I was back at the mansion,” she told McDonald. “I don’t want to see myself talking about my trauma again, I can’t take it.”
Marquardt faced similar difficulties when she joined Madison to rewatch the reality series for her new podcast. However, the two expressed hope that reflecting on their experiences together will be a healing process.
“I hope it gets better from here,” said Marquardt.
Wellness, parenting, body image and more: get to know it who Behind huh with the Yahoo Life newsletter. Sign up here.