ESPN tennis analyst Pam Shriver said Wednesday that she was in what she called an “inappropriate and damaging relationship with my much older coach” that began when she was 17 and lasted five years.
Shriver, in an interview with ESPN’s Outside the Lines, as well as a first-person story and podcast with English publication The Telegraph, said she decided to open up about her relationship with coach Don Candy because “it’s still going on — a lot.”
“I think abusive coaching relationships in sport as a whole are alarmingly common,” she wrote in The Telegraph. However, my particular expertise lies in tennis, where I have witnessed dozens of cases in my four and a half decades as a player and commentator. Every time I hear about a player dating their coach, or see a male physical therapist working on a female body in the gym, my alarm bells go off.”
Shriver, 59, began her professional career in 1978 at the age of 15. She traveled with Candy, who was her coach and companion. Shriver reached the final of the 1978 US Open as an amateur but never reached another Grand Slam title match.
She won 21 times on the WTA Tour in singles, and Shriver won 21 Grand Slam doubles titles between 1981 and 1991, mostly with Martina Navratilova as a partner.
The relationship with Candy, who died in 2020 at the age of 91, began when Shriver was 17 and turned sexual when she was 20, Shriver wrote.
“It was during a time that was really difficult for me to have my first relationship,” Shriver Jeremy Schaap said in an OTL interview. “It should never have been with my coach and … I just realized it’s time to speak out about my story and hopefully make it easier for some other people who have had similar stories as well.”
Candy was 33 years older than Shriver. She said he never sexually abused her, but Shriver said she felt there was emotional abuse. She said the affair eventually became an “open secret” on the women’s pro tennis tour.
“I still have conflicting feelings about Don,” Shriver wrote. “Yes, he and I were involved in a long and inappropriate affair. Yes, he cheated on his wife. But there was a lot about him that was honest and authentic. And I loved him. up here. He should have been the trusted adult. In another world, he would have found a way to keep things professional. Only after the therapy did I feel a little less responsible. Now I’ve finally come to realize that what happened is weighing on him.”
She said she told her father about the relationship but not her mother, who died in August 2021.
“I felt very ashamed and guilty,” Shriver told OTL. “I also felt a lot of anger and jealousy when his wife came to tournaments. Um, so it was basically easy, really miserable at times.
“And because I, you know, lived the life of trying to be the best tennis player that I could be, I really didn’t understand how difficult the mystery and the juggling was. And so I just kept it to myself. My close friends eventually learned it, but you know what? It was a little, I won’t say normalized, but I wasn’t the only, we weren’t the only cross-border relationship on tour back then.”
Shriver told OTL that at the time she had no opportunity to share what happened.
“At that point, there were no protections for young female athletes,” Shriver said. “I really didn’t know who to turn to. I kept it a secret from my family. I’ve never kept a secret from my parents of any size except this one. …
“I really didn’t know where to go and I wasn’t sure how to ask for help. And it wasn’t until later, when the relationship was really over, that I realized how much help I needed back then.”
The WTA issued a statement in response Wednesday, saying the Tour is “dedicated to ensuring a safe environment throughout our Tour” and that “protection requires vigilance and we continue to invest in education, training and resources.” to improve our efforts.
“The health and safety of everyone involved in the WTA Tour – including the players – is our priority and our commitment to protection remains resolute.”
Shriver was asked why she is telling her story now.
“Because it’s been over 40 years,” Shriver told OTL. “Most of my life I just moved on and never gave myself enough time to reflect on what happened back then and how detrimental the relationship really was, how it hurt my tennis, my performance and how my ability to be healthy Build relationships that move forward in my life.
“It really took a combination of things. The pandemic hiatus, when I realized my children were a similar age to me when the relationship began. I think it also took some thinking when my mother died last August. She died without knowing that this had happened. She always thought I was accompanied by a safe person.
“And so I just feel like it’s time for me. I feel like it’s important in my healing. And it’s important that maybe I feel like I’m going to come forward and detail my Speaking history, maybe just helping a few young players.” Perhaps it helps coaches to understand that they don’t need to cross that line.
“So I feel like it’s the right time for a lot of reasons.”