For some couples, a breakup or divorce is followed by years of resentment, with each party vowing never to see the other again. But others have managed to remain friends after their breakup.
After the official divorce, media magnate Rupert Murdoch, 91, and model Jerry Hall, 65, emphasized that they had finalized their separation agreement and “remain good friends” despite their split.
This amicable split differs starkly from other celebrities like Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde, who are embroiled in a custody battle, or Kevin Federline and Britney Spears, who are still publicly washing their dirty laundry via Instagram posts 16 years after their divorce.
Even couples like Brangelina, who initially split up in secret, can’t escape petty disputes over their vineyard and property.
So is it even possible to be friends with an ex? And what’s the secret ingredient to this post-divorce friendship?
Dating expert Tina Wilson told FEMAIL that age and sharing children are two factors that could make it easier to be friends with your ex.
“There are times when you should never stay friends with an ex. However, if the relationship was healthy and there were no hostilities, some former couples can remain friends after a breakup,” the expert said.
Jerry Hall, 65, and Rupert Murdoch, 91, said they remain “good friends” after the official divorce (pictured in London in 2016).
THE OLDER YOU ARE, THE BETTER YOUR CHANCES
“The later in life you ‘separate ways’ can sometimes make all the difference because the older people are less willing to play together,” she said.
This is especially true for people who have been married more than once,” Tina added.
“Life is too short and they just want the other to be happy, especially if the couple has had multiple marriages or long term relationships, they have experience on their side to learn from their past mistakes/regrets.”
Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis made headlines when the director of ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ received legal paperwork from her ex during a presentation at CinemaCon 2020 in Las Vegas (pictured).
LACK OF PASSION AT THE END CAN PAVE THE WAY FOR FRIENDSHIP
For relationships that were lacking in the romance department, staying friends is also a good outcome.
“It would be a great shame to say goodbye to your friendship, especially when you’ve had some great years together and they’ve been a big part of your life,” she said.
But honesty would be key for this particular scenario to work.
“However, the couple needs to be honest with each other and make sure they remain friends for the right reasons,” she added.
STAYING FRIENDS CAN ACTUALLY HELP YOU GET AHEAD
“Staying friends with your ex can be a huge boost to your personal growth, and you might feel like a part of your life has been blocked or missed by trying to ignore them,” the expert said.
Staying friendly with an ex-partner is also a sign that you are mature and that there are no loose ends in your past relationships.
“Staying friends shows that you both have some level of maturity and no unresolved issues, which can bode well for other/future relationships in your life,” she said.
Happier days! Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis split in 2020 after dating for almost ten years and sharing two children
“Not only can your ex help you move on, they can give you insight into why your romantic relationship didn’t work out,” she added.
Setting clear boundaries is just as important.
“It’s healthy to maintain boundaries in your new friendship, but they can be a good friend to catch up with and socialize with.” You can also count on them for emotional support because they know you better than anyone,” she said.
WALK IN THE SAME CIRCLE
Moving in the same circles and having common interests or being afraid to meet at social events. could also lead to ex-boyfriends becoming friends.
“It’s by default that the two of you let go, meet each other, know each other and are reminded of each other a lot. Therefore, in this situation, an ex-couple will consciously admit defeat and form a friendship,” she said.
“Most ex-boyfriends who meet at work will likely result in one of them changing jobs. We spend more time at work than anywhere else, so it’s logical that this is a form of escape required to help one or both move on,” Tina added.
CO-PARENTHOOD
Finally, while co-parenting can be challenging, it can result in ex-boyfriends having to stay friends for the sake of the kids.
“Co-parenting can happen in two ways – it depends on how healthy the relationship was when it ended. If the breakup was toxic and there are unresolved issues, trying to build a relationship afterwards will be challenging,” Tina said.
“However, if it was amicable and you have a courtesy agreement that works for both of you, ex-couples can have rewarding and fulfilling lives as co-parents,” she said.
“Here you see ex-couples on vacation with their children together,” she said.
Kevin Federline and Britney had a very public divorce and are still airing their dirty laundry with ill-fated headlines 16 years after their split (pictured together in 2004).