The monologue of Klara Francini, From the stage in Sanremo on the decision to be a mother or not, she triggered gut reactions to motherhood, a knot that feminism has not untied and that remains a chance that many women have to deal with sooner or later.
The Florentine actress’s reflection on motherhood, between envy, fear and desire, points to this the furrow that has been dug in the life of each of us, of the choice to give birth to new lives or not. Women mirror each other, looking at what they have lost or gained with or without motherhood, are riddled with doubts, and when I think about my personal experience, I dragged myself into doubt about being a mother, almost to the biological one Border.
Motherhood came almost by accident, happily welcomed without being planned. In the first months of pregnancy, before falling asleep, I fantasized about it even childless and I imagined how my life would have gone on without this unexpected motherhood, how I would have lived without an experience that influenced my choices, altered my body, dictated rhythms and imposed a reorganization of both inner and outer spaces.
Also read Special Sanremo 2023 | by FQ.
Sanremo 2023, monologue by Chiara Francini: “Sometimes I think I’m my own wife because I can’t cook, I haven’t married and I haven’t had children”
Between nausea and ultrasound I saw every now and then a friend who had clear ideas since high school: didn’t want to have children. And so it was with no regrets. Contemplating my growing belly, she was touched by doubts, while when I heard about her upcoming and unexpected trip abroad, I was crossed by fear of an irreversible change that would have revolutionized my life.
We are not prepared face the desire to have children as a choice. Motherhood has been fate for thousands of years and not infrequently also a curse, we can only choose a few generations. How many, two, three? What resources can we draw upon to handle the burden of this choice today?
I find the complaint unconvincing a hypothetical social pressure motherhood as a duty. I am amazed when I read the interviews with young actresses who claim to reject motherhood as if it were the greatest thing of all transgressions. They look to me like those Japanese soldiers who still occupied fortresses on some islands in the Pacific, even though the Second World War was long over and the front had moved elsewhere.
Every time I hear about social pressures on the duty of motherhood, I think, “This is elephant shit,” recalling the words of a therapist classifying the alibis presented to patients in his practice during a biosystemsics seminar constructed to evade responsibility of missed or caught trains, blaming the state or society.
It is also true that we have to deal with ourselves, but also with reality. The data from demographic growth On the contrary, Null tells us that the narrative about the social pressure on women to become mothers is unrealistic.
For at least 20 years There are no maternity support policies, neither the right nor the left cares, and mothers have to face the problems in private life. Others give up for fear of possible trouble. It has also become a luxury to wonder if there is this hidden desire somewhere in any dream.
Also read Special Sanremo 2023 | By Selvaggia Lucarelli.
Sanremo 2023, Chiara Francini’s monologue late at night? A message for Amadeus: It concerns the episode, watch you and Morandi with someone who knows how to govern this phase and well (by Selvaggia Lucarelli)
Maternity leave legislation in many countries, e.g fatherhood mandatory, of equal duration and non-transferable, which have helped to distribute care work more equitably between men and women in Italy, are a mirage. The recently introduced 10 compulsory days are ridiculous apart from an optional extra day which is however deducted from maternity leave.
On the contrary, they are granite realities: Precariousness, the curtailment of the rights of working mothers, layoffs and terminations, but also the lack of kindergarten places, bullying in companies that harass mothers when they ask for flexible working hours or ask to be exempted from incompatible shifts of care.
In civil courts, in separations, he is despised and humiliated the care work as if it were a parasitic period in a woman’s life and its economic and social value is not recognised. This country is obsessed with hatred and devotion to the mother figure, perceived as omnipotent and infinitely expendable in an ambivalence that crushes women. The mother owes everything, can give everything, as if she had infinite resources and should not ask for anything, so she disappears from the social and political dimension.
Becoming a mother is a risk which can lead to impoverishment, economic dependency on one’s partner, renunciation of jobs one has dreamed of since childhood, exclusion and loneliness.
But the limitation of one choice is not addressed by the limitation of other choices. I am referring to attacks on Law 194 on voluntary abortionjustified, instrumental, as the cause of the country’s demographic decline, and I also refer to the manipulations of the Prime Minister, Giorgia Meloniwho wants to give that to women “Freedom not to have an abortion”. Those who find themselves in economic difficulties cannot meet motherhood with one-time bonuses, family allowances, a few packs of diapers and packets of powdered milk, they must have a future and know that the children they bring into the world can have them too.
Politics has the task give answers for women by opening the door to an opportunity that moves from desire to choice between freedom, reality and necessity.
@nadiesdaa