- Vinicius Lemos@oviniciuslemos
- From BBC News Brazil in Sao Paulo
6 hours ago
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Luis and Giovanna share their experiences as a nonmonogamous couple on social media
During a chat at Big Brother Brasil’s house, singer Aline Wirley opened up about her relationship with actor Igor Rickli.
“Sometimes people judge a lot, they don’t really understand. And it’s super understandable that they don’t get it because we’ve been formatted to go one way. But it works so well, it works so well, I know how it works, how people are happy, how we love each other, how it’s really like,” Aline said.
The reality show contestant’s statement was made as she commented on the open relationship she has with her husband. At the moment, she was speaking to another participant in the program, doctor Fred Nicácio, who also has a similar relationship.
Because of the reality show contestants, monogamy and nonmonogamy have been discussed even more on social networks.
Among professionals interviewed by the report, these nontraditional monogamy relationships have become more popular in recent years, largely due to the dissemination of information on the subject.
“I believe that the visibility of this issue has actually increased, especially through social media and other activism. This has helped more people gain access to this debate and broaden their awareness,” says Geni Núñez, PhD in Human Sciences and known on social networks like Genipapos, where he talks about nonmonogamy.
On the networks, several couples speak openly about relationships, admitting that they have other partners, be it just sexually or even with romantic connections.
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Igor Rickli and Aline Wirley have already publicly stated that they have an open relationship
“It remains a relationship and we enjoy being together”
One of the couples taking to social media to discuss the issue is student Giovanna Rodrigues, 22, and parliamentary adviser Luís Moreira, 31.
Together they maintain the NonMonogamous Solutions page, where they share their relationship routine and details.
“We do practically everything that a close couple does, it remains a relationship and we enjoy being together, the difference is that we removed the part that he can only associate with me,” explains Giovanna.
“I think she can be free and happy with someone else,” defends Luís.
The two say they never had any disagreements because of their other “affinities,” as they define other romantic partners.
“We just agreed to let them know when they’re going and if they’re going back home. It’s more for security reasons and not to upset the other person,” comments Giovanna.
The couple live together in an apartment in Rio de Janeiro (RJ) and plan to get married in the future. “Especially because it gives you rights in Brazil and it’s important to have legal support as a couple,” comments Luís.
The psychiatrist Manoel Vicente, 32, and the businessman Raphael Piza, 29, also have a different relationship than the traditional one. They, who have been together for over 10 years, define their relationship as “free”.
The two, who live in Cuiabá (MT), got married earlier this month, just before the psychiatrist attended the Casa de Vidro at Big Brother Brasil. Manoel was not selected to officially participate in the program, but his brief participation in the dispute has already brought nonmonogamy into the debate.
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Manoel and Raphael decided to open up their relationship after dating for four years
“Until participating in the show, we avoided talking openly about this topic. My friends knew our relationship was like this, but our family didn’t. It was something more private, then the show came and we knew it would be released,” comments Manuel.
“We didn’t really hide it, but we didn’t yell out (about their relationship). It was never a problem for us, but there was a problem that people didn’t understand it,” adds Raphael.
According to her, the family received the information about their relationship with respect. “My mother gave a wonderful answer to that. She’s totally religious and didn’t know what our relationship was like, laughs the psychiatrist.
The couple emphasizes that the main concept of the relationship is to “cherish freedom.”
“Our understanding is that kissing other people is not a betrayal. Betrayal means making up lies for the one you love,” says Manoel.
He and Raphael had a close relationship for the first four years of dating.
“In the beginning we didn’t know any other relationship models, so we didn’t even think about other forms. But then I started looking at those concepts, I saw some writers working on other types of relationships and we started doing that and seeing that made sense in that moment,” says Manoel.
“The only rule we have is that we don’t get involved with our longterm friends, who are practically our family,” adds the psychiatrist. “At the end of the day it all boils down to complicity and not having any secrets between us,” adds Manoel.
For psychologist Geni, known on social media as Genipapos, these relationships that deviate from traditional monogamy are part of an “antimodel” in which people stop “repeating massed values of monogamy as the only possible one for all people.” World” .
“Monogamy still pushes itself as the only way forward in most films, series, books, church, family and state, so it’s very interesting to see how many people are uncomfortable with this imposition and others seek life forms. ., we live in a time when the same old answers around the world could not solve the dilemmas of our time and other ways are being sought, including nonmonogamy,” says Geni.
A BBC Worklife report last August looked at the growth of this type of relationship, which diverges from traditional monogamy. The text mentions that many social and cultural factors have led to greater adoption of nontraditional relationship styles, and that the pandemic may have influenced this process as well.
But while interest in open relationships is growing, there’s no data on their actual scope at least for now, according to the BBC report. In Brazil, for example, there is no indepth study of the extent of this type of relationship.
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The couple Fred Nicácio (BBB participant) and Fábio Gelonese have an open relationship
And the topic is huge. Within these discussions there are different types of relationships and there is not exactly one model to follow, each couple usually creates their own way of living nonmonogamy.
Open relationships are associated with people who have a main partner but may have casual relationships with other people. There are experts who claim that this is a mixture of monogamy (because there is a couple as the main structure) with features of nonmonogamy (because there is freedom to be with other people).
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Marília and Douglas: She has been in nonmonogamous relationships for almost 10 years
A clear example of nonmonogamy is polyamory, which means having several serious relationships at the same time. That said, there is no couple at the center of this type of relationship.
These very different types of relationships have established themselves between couples of all genders, age groups or sexual orientation.
“In Brazil, we use nonmonogamy to talk about a variety of different types of relationships that deny affective or sexual exclusivity. It’s a more general way of saying that there are many possibilities for free relationships,” explains sociologist and writer Marilia Moschkovich .
For the sociologist, who has championed nonmonogamy for nearly a decade, monogamy is a model fraught with problems and flaws.
“One of the problems with monogamy is saying that the person can only be with you because that takes away from the person their sexual autonomy, their own body and their desires. A world where people have full autonomy involves desire, sexuality and no moral retribution,” explains Marilia.
Experts believe that these types of relationships outside of what is considered traditional should continue to increase as more and more people should question monogamy as the main model of society.
Attacks on Networks
As the debate on the subject increases, so does the attack on those who embrace this type of relationship.
“There is still a lot of moral panic on this issue, a lot of judgment and discrimination, there are a number of risks in some family and professional contexts,” comments psychologist Geni Núñez.
Recently, Giovanna from the Nonmonogamous Solutions profile suffered various types of attacks after sharing a video about their nonmonogamous relationship.
“The video has taken on a very large scale. A lot of people defended me, but I received a lot of horrible comments and various insults,” the student regrets. She has reported the case to the police and is considering the possibility of prosecuting those who offended her.
“Our content has always been in our nonmonogamous bubble and has been well received, with little criticism. I think this is the first time I’ve encountered so much hatred,” laments the young woman.
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Giovanna and Luís have already been the target of various types of criticism online because of their relationship
Despite the attacks, the couple have no plans to stop producing content for the internet, believing it will help shed light on the issue. “Because of our publications, we receive thanks from many people who are also nonmonogamous or have become so,” says Luís.
And in the coming months, the topic will be discussed more intensively at Big Brother Brasil. Although experts believe the discussions can help clarify several points on the subject, there are also concerns about how some might reinforce misunderstandings about these relationships.
“One concern I have (about the extensive discussion on this topic in prime time) is that since for many people ‘nonmonogamy doesn’t work’, there is already an expectation of failure or error on the part of many that theirs confirms previous prophecy. In the case of monogamy we don’t see that. No one says, “I know a monogamous couple that ‘went wrong,’ so this is proof of the failure of monogamy.” .