Attention, this column is bad for your health!  – Journal

Attention, this column is bad for your health! – Journal

Every day new things are added to the list of things not to do or not to consume.

Every day.

If it’s not gas cooking, it’s alcohol.

And if it’s not about air travel, then it’s about red meat.

If this continues, it will soon take less time to tell us what we can do.

WASH WASH

I have long wondered if there is life after death.

Now I’m wondering if there was before.

Be careful, it’s bad for your health! It’s bad for the environment! It offends! It shocks! It hurts! It traumatizes!

It’s transphobic! homophobic! xenophobia! Islamophobic! Coulrophobia (fear of clowns)!

Let’s burn the Tintin books! Forbid grilling! Ban fire!

Boycott! Let’s censor! Let’s cancel! Let’s erase! Withdraw! Let’s defend! Let’s prevent! Let’s browse! Let’s disinfect! Let’s clean up! Let’s polish! Let’s clean! Let’s disinfect!

Attention, this film contains scenes of violence! cigarettes! Cars! People who fuck without a condom! vulgar words! coronations! Trunkmen not played by real Trunkmen!

No way to take a step without an expert stepping out of a flower pot to point out our mistakes and get us back on track.

We used to tell children who used au gratin expressions that we would wash their tongues.

Now they want to wash our heads from the inside.

To make it shine like a new pipe.

In a few years we will be hooked up to our brains to see if our dreams are socially responsible.

And knowing what we’re thinking about when we’re polishing the leek.

THE MOST TOXIC THING ON EARTH

Sometimes I feel like taking my car, driving three hours, hiding in the depths of a forest and screaming with all my might:

“CROSS ME PATIENCE!!!! »

“PEACE DAMN IT! I ONLY WANT HOLY PEACE! »

“TWO MINUTES WITHOUT ANYBODY TELLING ME WHAT TO SAY OR DO!” »

But what is this time of prudish people preventing 95-year-olds from drinking a Seven-Up or smoking a cigarette on the balcony on the pretext that it’s not good for their health?

Do you know what is deadly? What is toxic?

BORING!

It’s the worst poison in the world! It sends you straight to the graveyard!

And do you know what enables us to live better?

No longer live, no: live BETTER?

ENJOYMENT !

The fun !

Do you know what’s fun? Have you ever had any? Do you know someone who has had fun in life before?

Look at the face of a child shoving a whippet in his mouth at top speed after his mother told him not to eat a whippet…

Well, that’s FUN!

Make life truant!

Eat a quarter pound in the tank!

Going to bed late during the week!

No wonder our children flee into a virtual world where everything is possible and everything is allowed.

Because the life we ​​offer them is flat!

Die with your mouth open…

Who is Gaston Miron