Sophia Marren and Liesel Julsrud found out they were dating the same person via TikTok. Sophia Marren and Liesel Julsrud
- Liesel Julsrud and Sophia Marren found out they were dating the same guy via TikTok.
- They shared details of their relationships online after learning of their shared predicament.
- Both women said posting about the experience helped them find support and heal emotionally.
On an average day in March 2021, Liesel Julsrud, a 25-year-old law student from Missouri, was scrolling through TikTok as she often does when she encountered something that stopped her.
Julsrud watched a get-ready-with-me video in which video artists film themselves dressing for a specific event. The TikToker in the video, Sophia Marren, said she was preparing to have dinner at the home of the man she was with at the time and filmed his kitchen while he prepared the food.
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What made Julsrud’s heart sink was that she recognized the kitchen, and she recognized the man whose face was partially obscured in the clip. It was the same person she’s been dating for the past five months, she told Insider.
Two years later Julsrud told her story and she finally reached Marren. The pair came together thanks to social media, and thousands of viewers watched intently as the saga unfolded.
It all started with a harmless TikTok that unexpectedly went viral
Though Julsrud and her partner haven’t spoken out about being exclusive, she told Insider she feels like they have a serious connection. A few days before seeing Marren’s video, she called a break with him because she was frustrated that they weren’t moving towards a more substantial commitment.
Still, she was shocked to see him in St. Louis with Marren, another woman from her area who she knew but wasn’t friends with at the time.
Julsrud told Insider that her immediate response was to confront the man she met about TikTok (The man’s identity is known to Insiders, but his name is being withheld due to online harassment concerns).
“I’m sure he got into a corner for not making those videos,” Julsrud said, adding, “But at the same time, if someone else posts something of yours, what can you do?” It was out of his control and all he could say was, ‘Yes, it’s true’ because it’s on video.”
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Julsrud ended the relationship, saying she was “traumatized” by the situation. Almost two years later, she felt more able to joke about what had happened. In January, she shared her story of where the drama began – on TikTok.
“When you were on your FYP and came across a TikTok of a girl getting ready for dinner at a guy’s house… and it was the guy you’d been dating for five months,” read the caption for her post .
Julsrud’s post went viral, garnering 4.8million views, and one of those viewers was Marren, 26, who until now had no idea the man she was meeting at the time was dating anyone else.
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Marren, who dated the man for seven months and broke up four months after the video was posted, reached out to Julsrud via Instagram, and the two women spoke about their experiences. Both told Insider they felt their relationship was serious, while technically not exclusive, and felt misled by the man who declined to comment on the article.
Thousands of TikTok viewers followed to hear the story unfold
Both women made several videos telling their TikTok followers how their relationships were developing and why they felt they were being treated unfairly in the way they were being treated, and collectively received more than 7 million views.
Taking keen interest in the details of her story, hundreds of commenters dubbed their experience the “tea” — a slang term for drama or gossip — of the week on TikTok. While most commenters were very supportive of the two women, many also asked them to share increasingly personal details about who the man was.
Marren and Julsrud told Insiders that the online attention has become overwhelming and that they have tried to share their true thoughts on the situation, while respecting the man’s privacy and not revealing his identity to millions of people.
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“There was this limit of liking, I want to give as much as I can, but I’m also not going to just give people what they want just because they want the story,” Marren said.
“It was an interesting balance, especially when a lot of people online almost look like they’re in front of your house with pitchforks and they’re like, ‘Show us the man!'” Julsrud added.
Social media can help women bond and heal from past relationship hurts, the TikTokers said
Marren and Julsrud told Insider that sharing their stories online allowed them to process their emotions, which helped them both on a personal level.
“It’s like a form of therapy to just joke about it and talk about it with someone else,” Julsraid said of describing her videos.
Marren added that having support from other people after she shared her story boosted her confidence after it was destroyed by their relationship.
Sophia Marren is 26 and lives in St. Louis, Missouri. Sophia Marren.
“Back then I blamed myself and did the normal thing: ‘Oh, what did I do wrong?’ or “Why didn’t he like me?” But if anything, that situation, while super crappy, has allowed me to love myself more,” she told Insider.
The biggest reward for both women was seeing that they weren’t alone, as their viral videos encouraged other women to comment on similar experiences.
“The good thing was the kind of community, mostly women, that this built,” Julsrud said, adding, “My biggest takeaway is that being a girl is important and empowering other women. We are often taught that as women, to be against each other and when you see the same man, to want to claim it. We need to support each other and realize that’s a really cool thing.
Liesel Julsrud is a 25-year-old law student from St. Louis, Missouri. Liesel Julsrud.
Julsrud said she was proud of herself and Marren for telling a story about “women getting together” instead of hitting on each other.
“I don’t think I’m some kind of warrior who will change the dating scene just by my little joking TikToks. But I think calling out the behavior is important and it rarely happens,” she said.
Julrsud continued, “I’m glad we can be more open and talk about experiences, what to look for, what red flags look like in relationships. I think it helps you feel less alone and more like knowing what to look out for.”
“Sometimes the TikTok community can be really, really awesome and supportive when it comes to getting through breakups,” she said.
For more stories like this, check out Insider’s Digital Culture team’s coverage here.