Narcissists had their “year in the sun” in 2022, according to Politico magazine – which ranked Meghan Markle, Donald Trump, Kanye West, Elizabeth Holmes and Sam Bankman-Fried among the worst offenders of the past 12 months.
But how can we recognize a partner, friend or colleague who has this complex personality disorder?
dr Greg Kushnick, a New York-based psychologist, revealed to 10 traits that narcissists typically exhibit and the best ways to deal with such characters.
From a lack of empathy to preoccupation with one’s talents, read on for Dr. Kushnik’s Narcissistic Telltale Signs…
dr Greg Kushnick, a New York-based psychologist, revealed to 10 traits that narcissists typically exhibit and the best ways to deal with such characters (stock image)
1. An obsession with power and success
Many narcissistic people are obsessed with gaining power and success. They seem to do whatever it takes to get ahead, and they won’t have any qualms about hurting people in the process. Typically they will try to control others for their personal gain. They might use unethical tactics to get what they want by lying or compromising.
2. A need for admiration
Like peacocks, narcissists will strut around to get admiration and attention from others, and they have inflated self-esteem. They may exhibit a range of attention-seeking behaviors to get the attention they think they deserve or need. It could include anything from wearing expensive clothes to driving a flashy sports car. The attention helps hide their actual fears of not being good enough or unwanted.
Narcissists had their “year in the sun” in 2022, Politico said, with Meghan Markle (seen), Donald Trump, Kanye West and Elizabeth Holmes among the worst offenders
HOW TO DEAL WITH A NARCISSIST
dr Greg Kushnick is a New York-based psychologist
dr Kushnick offers three suggestions for dealing with a narcissist on both a personal and professional level:
Find out what is really important to you – your values, interests and opinions. This way you can notice when a narcissist is questioning your reality or trying to make you doubt yourself. More importantly, you know your worth so it cannot be questioned. Therapy is a great way to gain more self-awareness and learn what really matters to you.
Get to know your limits
Know your limits and learn to recognize when your limits are being ignored or challenged. Decide what you are willing to do and what is considered unacceptable. Knowing your limits allows you to stand by your limits and not feel guilty or doubt self-doubt when a narcissist takes advantage of you or pushes things in an uncomfortable place.
Don’t share feelings
Avoid sharing your feelings with a narcissist. You will see this as a weakness and ignore the point you are trying to make. Speak from a location of your choice. Instead of saying, “I feel hurt and sad because you keep putting me down, so I need to protect and withdraw,” take the feeling out. Instead, explain, “I choose to distance myself from you. It doesn’t work for me.’
3. Instilling self-doubt
Narcissistic people tend to use self-doubt as a weapon. They will question or criticize you to make you doubt yourself, which gives them power over you. The greatest thing they do is play with your insecurities and weaknesses. They will take notice of things you mention, whether it’s an insecurity about your weight or your performance at work, and will allude to them at a later date to belittle you.
4. Lack of empathy
Narcissistic people lack empathy for others and have difficulty identifying with other people’s situations. It’s really the case that one just doesn’t care, especially when a person’s thoughts or feelings don’t align with their own. This can be scary as they will refuse to understand, listen or be there to support the other party.
5. It’s all about her
If you share a story or comment on a narcissist, they will do their best to make it all about themselves. This selfish behavior is another form of control and attention seeking. It can be very tiring as it is almost impossible to raise your voice once they have taken control of the conversation.
6. A habit of gaslighting
When you get to know a narcissist well, especially in the context of a romantic relationship, they might get into the habit of berating you, which means making you question your own reality and if you’re sane lose. This is accomplished by constantly questioning your version of the truth, distorting facts and creating a false narrative.
People with narcissistic traits believe they deserve special treatment and they are preoccupied with their own talents, which they tend to overvalue. They have a strong belief that they are more important and better than others. That can be intimidating.
8. You are always right
Narcissistic people love to do wrong to others. They like being right. They judge others freely, especially when they feel challenged or taken advantage of. Being in a relationship with this person can make you feel bad and affect your self-image as you feel like you’re always wrong.
9. They are adept at “future falsification”
In relationships, narcissists often engage in falsification of the future. They promise you the world after you have known them for a short time. They convince you that you will travel the world together, or some other incredible promise, but eventually you will drop the microphone. They suddenly leave when you have just named your children with them. In other words, they say whatever they need to say to get you excited about them and the relationship, but it doesn’t end well.
10. It’s all take, take, take
If you are a co-worker, friend, or lover of a narcissist, you will find yourself constantly meeting their needs with limited or no reciprocity. So, being in a relationship with a narcissist can be a particularly thankless task. You can offer emotional support or shower them with gifts, but don’t expect anything in return. The narcissist will take, take, take without stopping to say thank you.
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